Season four saw the introduction of Castiel, who, I will admit, split my loyalties. I'd always been mostly in the Dean camp, though I'll say Sam has his moments. With the arrival of Castiel, things took on an interesting new dynamic. Meanwhile, I just realized in the picture here, the three of them are holding hands. Cute... but also weird... (the Sam-slash-Dean-slash-Castiel fans will be loving that)
Anyhoo, I'm very glad Cas became a regular and I am looking forward to re-watching season five, because there were some classic moments which were just brilliant in wit and deliverance. And I still say that the funniest Supernatural moment in history was season 6 with Cas kissing Meg and saying after "I learned that from the pizza man." Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? I bow to the writers, they are on a level of genius I can only dream of.
Right, enough blabbing, lets get to the quotes from season 4... Oh and I just have to say, this season had the best rant by Dean anyone has done in the history of anything.
- I remember I was a hell hound's chew toy.
- Its like a demon yanked me out. Or rode me out.
- Hey Bobby, what's the deal with the liquor store, your parents out of town or something?
- So what, now I'm off the hook and you're on it? You some demon's bitch-boy?
- And what visage are you in now, holy tax accountant?
- Look, all I know is I wasn't groped by an angel.
- I thought angels were meant to be guardians. Fluffy wings, halos. You know, Michael Landon. Not dicks.
- Nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up, right?
- Okay, did the angels get their hands on some DeLoreans? How'd I get here?
- Sammy, where are you? Mom is a babe… and I'm going to hell. Again.
- So what, God is my co-pilot, is that it?
- This is going to sound a little… actually, this is going to sound massively, massively crazy.
- You're probably feeling your bones moving under your skin and your appetite is reaching hungry-hungry-hippo level. How am I doing so far? A little man-burger-helper may have crossed your mind already?
- So what, we've got a vampire and a werewolf monster mashing this town?
- Hey, do you think this Dracula can turn into a bat? That'd be cool.
- Which means we need to catch this freak before he Monster-from-the-black-lagoons somebody.
- I can't get over what a pumpkin pie-eyed-crazy son of a bitch you really are
- Sam, I'm not going to make a left hand turn into on coming traffic. I'm not suicidal. Did I just say that? That's kind of weird.
- Witches, man, they're so frigging skeevy.
- He was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy.
- Leprechauns? Those little guys are scary. Small hands.
- There's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission.
- Are you going to figure out a way to find this witch, or are you just going to sit there fingering your bone?
- Zombie-ghost-orgy, huh? Well, that's it. I'm torching everybody.
- So what, big foot breaks into a liquor store for some hooch? Amaretto and Irish cream. He's a girl-drink-drunk.
- Or is it a big foot and he's some kind of alco-holo-porno-addict. Kind of like a deep woods Duchovny.
- Whoa, I know she's wire tapping your angel chats or whatever, but that's no reason to gank her.
- Let's can the thanks-for-trying speech, participation trophies suck ass.
- Why do you care? You're junkless down there, like a Ken doll.
- Boy, three bedrooms, two bathrooms and one homicide. This place is going to sell like hotcakes.
- What kind of ghost messes with a man's wheels?
- So what, she's been caged up like an animal and busts out and ganks dear old dad-slash-grandad?
- So the daddy was the baby daddy too?
- The bitch is a klepto!
- What part of that wasn't a steaming pile of BS?
- What kind of Kool-Aid you drinking, man?
- It ends bloody or sad. That's just the life.
- Evil bitches just keep piling out of the Volkswagen.
- Apparently shoving a kids arm into a Cuisinart is not a healthy display of anger.
- Whatever. Go have your Robin Williams oh-captain-my-captain moment. Just make it quick.
- That ghost is dead. I'm going to rip its lungs out. Well, you know what I mean.
- Dude, you totally c-blocked me.
- So they shake their thing and the guys zombie out.
- Dude, the middle of Basic Instinct and you're banging Sharon Stone?
- So what, the local reaper is on strike, playing the back nine?
- You and me, we're like the poster boys for the unnatural order of things. I mean, all we do is ditch death.
- Dude, you are so Amityville.
- You guys don't walk enough, you're going to get flabby.
- You'll spill your guts one way or another, I just didn't want to ruin my shoes.
- Look, man, I don’t know you, but I'm going to do a public service and let you know that you over share.
- I was freaking out. The guy penciled his damn neck.
- You don't want to go hunting ghosts without any health insurance.
- Just to shake things up? So you guys could have fun watching us run around like ass-clowns in monkey suits?
- Angel or not, I will stab you in the face.
- I can't see your face, but those are definitely your brooding and pensive shoulders
- Behave yourself, would you? No homework, watch some porn.
- Okay, well how about this, I've got a gun in my pocket and if you don't come with me, I'll blow your brains out.
- You mind slowing down? You're going to give me angina.
- You think he's lying? You want to go Guantanamo on the guy?
- You used to be strong enough to kill Alistair, now you can't even gank stunt demon number three?
- Congratulations, Sammy, you just bought yourself a bitch-warmer seat for the apocalypse.
- Times are bad so let's use Sam as a nuclear warhead?
- You got ass-reamed in heaven but its not of import?
- Come on, Bobby, I've never trusted them less. They come on like shady politicians from planet Vulcan.
- Well, look at this. The Sweet Life with Zac and Cas. It’s a… never mind.
- You can take your peace and shove it up your lilly white ass. 'Cos I'll take the pain and guilt, I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise.
- I kind of got the feeling crazy pushed Mrs. Armstrong down the stairs.
- Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again.
- If you were a siren in '09 looking to ruin a bunch of morons, where would you set up shop?
- So what are you going to do, swing in and save the friendly neighborhood reaper?
- Dude, I am not going to do Fight Club with a twelve year old.
Bobby - Dean, your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop and you'd been buried four months. even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit—
Dean - I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject.
Dean - What the hell is that?
Sam - Its an iPod jack.
Dean - You were supposed to take care of her, not douche her up.
Dean - Dude, I'm so in.
Sam - She's going to eat you alive.
Dean - Hey, I just got out of jail. Bring it.
Pamela - You can come too, Grumpy.
Dean - You are not invited!
Demon - Tell me what makes you so special?
Dean - I like to think its 'cos of my perky nipples.
Meg - Come on, Dean, did your brain get french-fried in hell? You can't shoot me with bullets.
Dean - Ronald, I thought we were buddies.
Ronald - That was when I was breathing. Now I'm going to eat you alive.
Dean - Come on, I'm not a cheese burger.
Castiel - Hello, Dean, what were you dreaming about?
Dean - You get your freak on by watching other people sleep?
Dean - Can you tell me where I can get reception on this thing?
Young John - The USS Enterprise?
Samuel - So you didn't notice anything unusual, ma'am?
Mrs. Wiltshire - You mean like my husband's guts fertilizing the back forty?
Mary - What do you think?
Dean - I think he just pimped his soul to a demon and he doesn't even realize it.
Sam - Travis said to keep an eye out for anything weird.
Dean - Werid? Alright, well, I've seen big weird, little weird, weird with crazy on top. But this guy? Come on, this guy is boring.
Dean - We're here to save you… I guess.
Woman - I'm calling the police!
Sam - We should go.
Dean - Yeah.
Dean - We still gotta see that Raiders movie.
Sam - Saw it.
Dean - Without me?
Sam - You were in hell.
Dean - That's no excuse!
Sheriff - The killer's some kind of a-grade whacko, right? I mean, some Satan-worshiping, Anne Rice-reading, gothic, psycho, vampire wannabe.
Dean - Which leads me to conclude my virginity is in tact.
Sam - What?
Dean - I have been re-hymen-ated.
Jamie - So you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something and the X-Files are real?
Dean - No, the X-Files is a TV show. This is real.
Sam - You're not going to like it. It's ghost sickness.
Dean - Ghost sickness. Oh god, no… I don’t even know what that is.
Sam - Basically, they're all dicks.
Dean - So you're saying I'm a dick?
Sam - How you feeling?
Dean - Awesome. Its nice to have my head on the chopping block again. I almost forgot what that feels like. Its freaking delightful.
(here comes the all time best rant...)
Dean - You know what, screw this!
Sam - Whoa, Dean. Come on.
Dean - No, I mean, come on, Sam, what are we doing?
Sam - We're hunting a ghost.
Dean - A ghost. Exactly. Who does that?
Sam - Us.
Dean - Us? Right. And that, Sam, is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, come on, we hunt monsters. What the hell? Normal people, they see a monster, they run away. But not us. We search out things that want to kill us. Or eat us. You know who does that? Crazy people! We are insane. And then there's the bad diner food and the skeevy motel rooms and the truck stop waitress with the bizarre rash. I mean, who wants this life, Sam? Seriously. I mean, do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don’t think so. I mean, I drive too fast and I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again and I sing along and I'm annoying. I know that. And you. You're gassy. You eat half a burrito and you get toxic. You know what? You can forget it.
Dean - I got this one.
Sam - Two words. Jail. Bait.
Dean - I'm telling you, both these vics are squeaky clean. There is no reason for wicked bitch payback.
Sam - Maybe because its not about that.
Dean - Wow, insightful
Sam - Why would Uriel tell me you remember hell if you didn't?
Dean - Maybe because he's a dick. That might have something to do with it.
Sam - I can see you're very interested.
Dean - Women. Showers. We have to save these people.
Dean - I gotta tell you, I'm pretty disappointed.
Sam - You wanted to save naked women.
Dean - Damn right I wanted to save some naked women.
Sam - Are we going to kill this teddy bear?
Dean - How? Do we shoot it, burn it?
Sam - I don't know. Both?
Dean - How do we even know that's going to work? I don’t want some giant, flaming pissed off teddy on our hands.
Alistair - Come on, Dean, don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot, I'm wearing a pediatrician.
Sam - Where's Bobby?
Dean - The Dominican. He said we break anything, we buy it.
Sam - He working a job?
Dean - God, I hope so, otherwise he's a hedonist in a banana hammock and trucker cap.
Sam - Great, now that's seared into my brain.
Dean - An angel and a demon riding in the backseat. It's like the set up to a bad joke. Or a Penthouse form letter.
Sam - Dude. Reality. Porn.
Dean - Well, that's super disturbing.
Sam - Think it got left behind?
Dean - By who? Unless Bill Gibson liked to play with doll's heads.
Dean - Crap. So what now?
Sam - We could tell them the truth.
Dean - Really?
Sam - No, not really.
Dean - Listen, man, I've got a gun and if you don't get yourself back in that circle, you're going to have yourself a third hole.
Sam - Dude, you don't have a gun.
Dean - And?
Sam -That's Jed Baxter.
Dean - I don’t even want to know how you know that.
Sam - He's famous.
Dean - For what, douche-bagery?
Sam - Do you think we will, Dean, die before we get old?
Dean - Haven't we both already?
Sam - He slipped me.
Dean - He's sixty years old.
Sam - He's a magician!
Sam - How's it going?
Dean - The whistle makes me their god.
Sam - Right. Nice shorts.
Student - Aren't you the PE teacher?
Dean - Not really, I'm like 21 Jump street… the bus driver sells pot.
Sam - You seem pretty cheery.
Dean - Strippers, Sammy, strippers. We are on an actual case involving strippers. Finally.
Sam - She entices them with her siren song.
Dean - Let me guess, Welcome to the Jungle. No, Warrant's Cherry Pie.
Sam - You think she infects them during sex?
Dean - Like a supernatural STD
Sam - Come on, Dean, just focus on the naked girls, you'll forget he's even there.
Dean - I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for the girls.
FBI Agent - Are you sure about that? Because it sounds like crazy on toast.
Sam - Another guy gets capped by a mugger and walks away without a scratch.
Dean - Capped in the ass?
Dean - Alistair, I thought you got deep fried, extra crispy.
Alistair - No, just the pediatrician I was riding. His wife is still looking for him, its hilarious.
Sam - This might be hard for you to hear, but you're dead, you're a spirit.
Cole - Yeah, thanks, Haley-Joel, I know I'm dead.
Tessa - Dean, don't you remember me?
Dean - Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time a girl said that to me…
Sam - We need to learn some ghost moves.
Dean - By tonight? Yeah, sure, I'll meet you back at Mr. Miyagi's
Cole - Who is Mr. Miyagi?
Sam - Go to hell.
Alistair - If only I could, but they keep sending me up to this arctic crap hole.
Uriel - I'm going to seek revelations, we might have some new orders.
Dean - Get some doughnuts while you're out.
Sam - Well, the worst time we've seen since the great depression—
Dean - Is now. Yeah, now sucks. My portfolio is in the sewer. I don't even want to talk about it.
Ed - We learned this from those useless douche-bags
Harry - That we hate
Ed - The Winchesters. Shot gun, shot gun shells. Pack it up with rock salt. Very effective.
Harry - Winchesters still suck though.
Ed - Affirmative. Suckage major.
Ed - The aforementioned super annoying Winchester douche-nozzles also taught us one other thing.
Zachariah - You should see my décolletage.
Dean - Gross, no thanks.
Dean - What's a slash fan?
Sam - As in Sam-slash-Dean. Together.
Dean - Like together-together?... They do know we're brothers, right?
Sam - Doesn't seem to matter.
Dean - Aw, come on, that's just sick.
Chuck - Dean, you look terrible
Dean - That's because I just got hit by a minivan, Chuck.
Chuck - Writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night level douchiness.
Dean - I'm starving, let's get breakfast.
Sam - Where? We're like two hours from anywhere.
Dean - But I'm hungry now.
Sam - Holy water?
Dean - Yep, one sip of Jesus juice and this evil bitch is going to be in a world of hurt.
Dean - Well now I'm thinking about dad sex. Stop talking.
Sam - Maybe he slipped one past the goaly
Dean - Dude!
Adam - How'd he die?
Sam - On the job.
Adam - Wasn't he a mechanic?
Dean - A car fell on him.
Sam - Look familiar?
Dean - Yeah, Anna used something like that to send the angels back to the cornfield.
Jimmy - Angel inside you, kind of feels like being chained to a comet.
Dean - Well, that sounds fun.
Jimmy - Understatement.
Sam - Sorry, this is funny to you?
Dean - Mr. big, bad prison guard Jimmy McMook gives you the slip? Yeah, its pretty funny. What were you doing anyway?
Sam - I was getting a Coke
Dean - Was it a refreshing Coke?
Sam - Nice plan, Dean
Dean - Yeah, well no one bats a thousand.
Dean - How long is this gonna go on?
Bobby - Let me just look it up in my demon detox manual. Oh wait, no one ever wrote one.
Bobby - Correct me if I'm wrong, but you willingly signed up to be the angel's bitch… I'm sorry, you prefer sucker?
Bobby - I thought you were on call for angel duty.
Dean - I am on call, in my car, on my way to murder the bitch.
Sam - Did you bust me out of that room?
Ruby - How could I? The whole thing is engineered to bite me in the ass.
Sam - She was looking for Lillith.
Dean - That's French for manipulating your ass ten ways from Sunday.
Dean - Yeah, I heard you. I'm not calling him.
Bobby - Don't make me get my gun, boy.
Bobby - Well, boo-hoo. I'm so sorry you got your feelings hurt, princess. Are you under the impression that family is supposed to make you feel good, make you an apple pie maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable. That's why they're family.
Zachariah - We want you focused and relaxed.
Dean - Well, I'm about to be pissed and leaving. Start talking, chuckles.
Phew! So, that's it for season 4. I hope to follow it up with season 5 in the near future, but have got a bit of work on at the moment, so we'll see how I go. I'm also thinking of doing quotes from True Blood. Okay, yes, I'm a bit behind here, but True Blood is my latest obsession. And FYI, I am totally team Eric. A viking-turned-vampire? That's just too good to resist.
While I get back to work, feel free to drool over this picture here...