Monday, June 13, 2011

Best Quotes of Supernatural Season 2

Once, a long, long time ago, I promised I'd compile a list of quotes for season 2 of Supernatural. Yes, it was July 2007, almost exactly four years ago. This promise was made in the original post of Best Quotes of Supernatural Season 1. I'd like to say "I can't believe it took me four years to get around to doing this." But actually, I'm kind of not surprised. Let's hope it doesn't take me another four years to do it for season 3, because that would just be pathetic.
So, without further ado, here they are. Now, I don't know if I just paid closer attention to this season, or if maybe the writers were feeling a bit more snarky and settled into their places, but there seems to be a lot of really great quotes I've written down. So go grab a snack and a coffee, you might be here a while....

- "Dude, I full on Swayzed that mother."
- "You're much prettier than the last reaper I met."
- "I think I'll pass on the seventy two virgins, thanks. I'm not that into prude chicks anyway."
- "You know what? You're right. Come here, I want to lay my head on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, and maybe even slow dance."
- "This is humiliating, I feel like a frigging soccer-mom."
- "So much effed up crap happens in Florida."
- "Yeah, but Max Miller was a pasty little psycho."
- "These things are vicious, they're violent, they're so nasty they rot the ground around them. I mean, come on, haven't you seen Pet Cemetery?"
- "Man, that dead chick can run."
- "He full on Obi-waned me, its mind control, man."
- "One day I'd just like to sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a mini-mart."
- "Its ectoplasm. Well, Sam, I think I know what we're dealing with here. It's the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man."
- "You know, Casper the blood thirsty ghost?"
- "My name is Dean Winchester, I'm an aquarius, I enjoy long walks on the beach and frisky women."
- "Pee break, so soon? You might want to get your prostate checked."
- "What have you got on the case there, you innocent-harmless-young-man-you."
- "Myspace? What the hell is that? Seriously, is it like some sort of porn site?"
- "These people are actually making deals with the damn thing. You know, coz that always ends good."
- "We know a little bit about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous."
- "You know, I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue."
- "What's the point of saving the world if you don't get a bit of nookie every now and then?"
- "I just figured after Ava, there'd be more droopy music and staring out the rainy window... yeah, I'll shut up now."
- "Wow, that attitude is just way too healthy for me. I'm officially uncomfortable now."
- "Old-school haunted house. You know, fog, secret passage ways, sissy British accents. Might even run into Fred and Daphne inside... mmm, Daphne. Love her."
- "Don't you think this place is a little too white-meat for hoodoo?"
- "Don't go surfing porn, that's not the kind of whacking I mean."
- "Wow, this is a lot of dolls. And nice too. No, they're not super-creepy at all."
- "I guess mixing whiskey with Jagar wasn't such a gang-buster idea."
- "I think you could have totally hooked up some MILF action there, bud."
- "I just think its creepy how good a fed you are."
- "Shape shifter... I hate those frigging things."
-"Well, I think I learned a valuable lesson. Always take down your Christmas decorations after new years or you might get filleted by a hooker from God."
- "You ducked in two days ago under the name Richard Sambora. Of course, I think the scariest part about this whole thing is that you're a Bon Jovi fan."
- "Dude, you full on had a girl inside you for a whole week. That's pretty naughty."
- "How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch."
- "Plan A was to get you out of here. Obviously that didn't go over too well with Farmer Roadkill."
- "You know, just once I'd like to round the bend and see a nice house."
- "I call this one blue steel."
- "Wait, who looks better, me or Nick Nolte?"
- "Don't worry, Sam, I won't trade you for smokes."
- "Man, I am frigging velvety smooth!"

Samism (there aren't as many, but he still got a couple of one-liners in!)
- "Looking for a cursed object is like looking for a needle in a stack of needles."
- "Wow, give you a pile of severed heads and a bunch of dead cows and you're mister sunshine."
- "My daddy shot your daddy in the hee-aad." (just had to fit Evil Sam's line in here somewhere.)
- "Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies."
- "A seance? Oh great, I hope Whoppi is available."
- "You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie coz they think it sucks. Coz, I mean, it kinda does."
- "Yeah, being fugitives, it's a frigging dance party."

And now for the rest...
Jo - "Most hunters come through that door, they think they can get in my pants with some pizza, a six pack and a side one of Zeppelin four."
Dean - "What a bunch of scum bags."

Dean - "Come on, you still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the TV."
Sam - "At least I'm not afraid of flying."
Dean - "Planes crash."
Sam - "And apparently clowns kill!"

Sam - "Dean, get me a bucket."
Dean - "Why, did you find something?"
Sam - "No, I'm going to puke."

Sam - "I don't think they're killing people."
Dean - "Then how do they stay alive? Or undead. Or whatever the hell they are."

Sam - "Silver bullets?"
Dean - "Enough to make her rattle like a change purse."

Sam - "You think Angela's after someone?"
Dean - "No, I think she went out to rent Beaches."

Dean - "Besides, if I ran off with you, I think your mother might kill me."
Jo - "You're afraid of my mother?"
Dean - "I think so."

Sam - "Dean, you had OJ convicted before he even got out of his white Bronco and you've got doubts about this?
Dean - "He just doesn't seem like the stone-cold-killer type, you know? And OJ was guilty!"

Dean - "That was mind control, it's like being roofied, man. No, I'm calling a do-over."
Sam - "What are you, seven?"

Dean - "A young girl has been kidnapped by an evil cult."
Sam - "This girl have a name?"
Dean - "Yeah, Katie Holmes."

Dean - "What do you think, Scully, should we check it out?"
Sam - "I'm not Scully, you're Scully."
Dean - "No, I'm Mulder. You're a red-headed woman."

Jo - "Take it, it won't bite."
Dean - "No, but your mom might."

Dean - "You got a neighbor named Mr. Rodgers?"
Sarge - "Not anymore."

Dean - "Man, if you ever take off like that again--"
Sam - "What, you'll kill me?"
Dean - "That's so not funny."

Dean - "Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?"
Sam - "Well, you are a little butch, probably think you're over-compensating or something."

Dean - "You know, she could be faking."
Sam - "Yeah? What do you want to do, poke her with a stick?.... Dude, you're not going to poke her with a stick!"

Dean - "Frigging cops."
Sam - "They're just doing their job, Dean."
Dean - "No, they're doing our job, only they don't know it, so they suck at it."

Dean - "I like him, he says okey-dokey."
Sam - "He could be the shifter."
Dean - "Well, then we follow him home and put a silver bullet in his chest plate."

Dean - "There's a lot of lore on unicorns too. I hear they ride on moonbeams and shoot rainbows out their asses."
Sam - "Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?"

Sam - "Alright, I'll admit it, we've gone pretty ghetto with spell work before, but this takes the cake. I mean, a Sponge Bob placemat instead of an altar cloth?"
Dean - "Just put it Sponge Bob side down."

Sam - "Dude, were you on my computer?"
Dean - "No, why?"
Sam - "Oh really? Because its frozen now, on busty Asian babes dot com. Just don't touch my stuff any more."
Dean - "Why don't you control your OCD."

Dean - "You're like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness."
Sam - "Yeah, I know."

Molly - "Oh, thank god!"
Dean - "Yeah, call me Dean."

Sam - "Why do you always get to hang out with the hot girls?"
Dean - "Coz I'm older

Dean - "What's a PA?"
Sam - "I think they're kind of like slaves."

Hendrikson - "You think you're funny?"
Dean - "I think I'm adorable."

Sam - "Considering our circumstances, I'm going to need something a little better than 'pretty sure'."
Dean - "Really pretty sure."
(and later...)
Dean - "I'd like a little better than 'pretty sure'."
Sam - "Okay... Really pretty sure."

Inmate Tiny - "Are you talking to me?"
Dean - "Another guy who's seen Taxi Driver one too many times."

Dean - "Bitch."
Sam - "Why are you calling me a bitch for?"
Dean - "You're supposed to say 'jerk'."
Sam - "What?"
Dean - "Never mind."
(alternate reality Sam apparently has no sense of humor.)

Dean - "Don't forget the extra onions this time."
Sam - "Yeah, I'm the one whose going to have to ride in the car with your extra onions."
Dean - "And get me some pie... I want pie!... love me some pie."

Well, that's it people! I hope you've enjoyed this compilation and I do promise one day I will also get together a list of best quotes for season three. Though, since it took me four years to get around to this one, I'm not putting any time lines on it. In the meantime, here's another picture to keep you occupied...

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