Sunday, March 6, 2011

When Life Gets in the Way

Last week I was supposed to have Kiki Howell visiting, so you may have been wondering since Wednesday what happened. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, she wasn't able to do this week's interview, but maybe we'll get her back here one day in the future. This week, Bri Clark will be visiting and likewise, I'll be on her blog. A bit of a swapsie!
I had one of those weeks where I pretty much never sat down in front of the computer for more than five minutes at a time. I think I'd be lucky if did 1000 words for the whole week, very unusual for me!
At the start of the week, I was finding the lack of work frustrating. I really want to get Ric and Madi's story finished so I can move onto other things. Except by Friday, I'd gotten to the point where I just though "eh, who cares?"
It hit me that one of the good things about being a writer is that I don't answer to anyone in terms of when or for how long I work. This had always struck me as a huge pro to this job. I'm am definitely not a 9 to 5 sort of person. I never found a job I really enjoyed doing, never liked dealing with customers, or having set times when I had to come and go, eat lunch, or take a tea break.
And worse, with my endometriosis, it used to stress me out when I was unwell because I would feel bad for taking sick days. For a while there I had to take a lot of sick days. In fact, I'm pretty sure the times I got fired was because of that fact alone. I'm a big advocate for people understanding endometriosis. Most people can't comprehend just how much of an impact this disease can have on a woman's ever day life, especially if they have it chronically like I did. I say 'did' because although there's no cure for endometorsis, I've gotten to the point (and it took a lot of years) where I've got control of it and I am much better. Its not ruling my life any longer, though for a lot of years, it did.
I'd realized that by being an author, by not having set hours to work and a boss looking over my shoulder, I'm far more stress free. And if I spontaneously take the week off (even though it didn't start off by choice) then what does it matter? I had always told myself that if I woke up sick, or even if I just bloody didn't feel like working that day, then I could take the day off and it was great not having to justify that to anyone else. Of course, this rarely happens. Even when I am sick its easy enough to drag myself in front of the computer and get my 1000 word minimum down. I'm very driven when it comes to writing, and very set on what sort of career I want to have. I've always been more than willing to put the hard work in.
This has probably been the first time in a long time I've ended up giving myself permission to just take a break. And I know that when I get back to it tomorrow, I'll be looking at the manuscript with fresh eyes and will feel re-energized about it. So even though I'm feeling really enthusiastic and refreshed about things, I'm still not going to do anything today. I'm going to enjoy my Sunday like any other normal person, and go back to the grind on Monday.

1 comment:

Kez said...

Good for you. A break is vital. I hope you're feeling better next week.