Saturday, July 21, 2007

MIA - Where Have I Been?

Has it really been over a month since I posted? Apparently yes. How totally slack of me!
Well, I can tell you that it has been a very interesting few weeks since I last checked in here. I think it was the week after the last entry that I received 3 rejections in 3 days. That was possibly the best week of my life (not). By the third one, I was angry. I was bitter. I wanted to throw my computer against the brick feature wall in my lounge room. And then I realized something.
I hadn't been enjoying writing for a long while. A few months at least. I'd been so busy writing to agents, hoping I'd get my break, convincing myself I didn't care that much when I got rejected (all the while screaming in my head "WHAT DO THEY WANT? WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO FOR GOD'S SAKE?"), forcing myself to soldier on and finish the manuscript, that I'd forgotten why I started writing in the first place all those years ago. I'd become resentful and begun to hate the thought of sitting down to write, which is quite possibly the worst place a writer can find themselves. Worse even than writer's block I feel.
So I took a step back. Literally, since I had to quell the urge to smash my computer. I had to think about things. Luckily that weekend I had a meeting with my writer's group. I talked to them about it (thank god for those girls, otherwise I might go crazy!), I re-assessed. I came up with a new plan, because I can't function unless I have a set strategy in my mind, which is funny since when I write, I don't plan anything at all.
Anyway, because part of me is just so stubborn, I'm going to send out one more proposal to Tor Paranormal Romances, since they accept unagented submissions. I still have the ms out with 2 other publishers and 2 other agents, so that's at least 5 opportunities that could come to something.
Luckily, hitting the second trimester of my pregnancy seems to have revived my writing-mojo, and I've been back to my usual prolific self (oh, and its just over a week now until I have my 19 week scan and find out if the baby is a boy or a girl, I can't wait!). I've got several comps lined up over the next few months that I'm going to enter, because I had been telling myself that no matter what happens, I was going to start entering comps this year. One of the manuscripts I'll be entering in these comps I'm hoping to start querying agents about when it's finished and I've got some feed back from the judges. So it's kind of like starting all over again. Of course I hope my publishing contract is waiting sometime in the near future, and I'll admit that being impatient is one of my biggest flaws. I just really need to get back to the basics of why I'm a writer and remind myself that it could be a good long time before I get published, if ever.
But back to baby-related news, which is always entertaining. I went to a pregnancy class last week, and we did some water aerobics, so all of us expectant mums stripped down to our bathers. As I was the new chick, I of course got asked the questions "how far along are you, when's the baby due?" When I told them that I was 17 weeks, they just looked at me for a bit and then one of them goes with a bit of a laugh (you know, the laugh when something's not really funny, but if you don't laugh you just might stab the person you're talking to with the nearest blunt object?) and she said "oh, and you're not even showing yet." When what I'm sure she really wanted to say was: "are you even pregnant... BITCH!"
There were other girls there who were as far along as me and they had huge bellies! I just look like I've maybe eaten too much. In fact, with all my clothes on, you can't even tell I'm pregnant, and I'm almost halfway through the pregnancy. The lady who was running the class told me that often girls of my stature don't get very big, especially with their first baby. I'll probably get to nine months and be lucky if I look a day past 6 months pregnant. So I'm just going to thank myself lucky that I'm probably not going to get so big that I'll no longer be able to see my feet. And that I'll be able to wear normal-people clothes, just maybe one size bigger than what I used to. Because, seriously? Maternity clothes = yuck. I have not yet seen one attractive maternity outfit that I would be moved to pay the extremely ridiculous price of double what normal clothes would usually be. Like, what? Because they have to use extra material, they have to charge double the price? And coz us fat pregnant ladies can't fit into anything else except a coupla bed sheets tied together we have no choice but to buy them? $60 for a top? $100 for a pair of pants with extremely unattractive elastic around the top? No thank you.
So that's the last few weeks for you. I'm feeling much better about my writing, and can't wait to enter these comps and get some feed back from the judges. Oh, and I'll make sure another months doesn't go by before I get back here!