So, it's actually Wednesday, but I'm still going to post my TTT for yesterday anyway. I spent all day in Melbourne yesterday and didn't have time to post anything. Found out that I won't have to have an operation for the time being (WOO!) and yesterday we woke up to the sound of rain. It was great! I would have loved to just lie in bed all morning and listen to it, but we had to get up and go places.
Anyhoo, we're here for TTT, so here it is. The funniest scenes from a TV show / movie. Just a warning, there is some strong language and a whole lotta spoilers ahead, so stop reading if you don't like swearing or are planning on seeing any of the below TV shows or movies. Otherwise, enjoy!
10) Firefly Pilot Episode – While the rest of the team is out salvaging some goods from a dead ship, Wash is on Serenity, sitting in the pilot’s chair, waiting until they all get back. He’s not using the time to coolly slouch back and kick his feet up, nor is he studying the galaxy to decide where they’re going next. No, he’s playing with plastic dinosaurs.
Dinosaur A – “This is a fertile land, and we shall thrive. We will rule over all this land and we shall call it… this land.”
Dinosaur B – “I think we should call it your grave.”
Dinosaur A – “Curse you and your sudden but inevitable betrayal!”
9) Dude, Where’s My Car? – For those of you who don’t know, this movie is about two guys who wake up and can’t remember what they did the night before. Nor do they know where their car is (hence the title). They have a problem since they bought anniversary gifts for their girlfriends, which are in the car, so they spend all day looking for it. This movie is seriously stupid, and not to be taken seriously at all. Check brain at door before watching.
At one point, Jesse and Chester discover they got tattoos the night before as well. Jesse has Sweet across his shoulder blades, and Chester has Dude across his shoulders.
Jesse – “Dude, you got a tattoo.”
Chester – “Sweet, what does it say?”
Jesse – “Dude, what does mine say?”
Chester – “Sweet, what does mine say?”
Jesse – “Dude, what does mine say?”
And so it goes on, until they try to beat each other up. Dumb, but had me on the floor laughing.
8) Stargate SG1 – 4.6 Window of Opportunity – Ok, so it’s your typical groundhog day plot. Not very original, but so what? This whole ep was hilarious. My favorite part? When Tea’lc and Jack are playing golf into the event horizon of the stargate, until General Hammond finds out anyway.
Hammond – “Colonel O’Neill! What are you doing?”
Jack – “In the middle of my backswing!”
7) Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby – Yet another dumb movie. But, quite obviously, these are the types of things I think are hilarious. In this one, Ricky crashes his Nascar and then jumps out and starts running around the track, tearing his clothes off coz he thinks he’s on fire, all the while screaming: “I’m on fire! I’m on fire! Help me God! help me Lord Jesus! Help me Oprah! Help me Tom Cruise!”
Now I’d never actually been a big Will Farrell fan, but this movie was just so stupid, I love it!
6) Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery – There’s so many moments in this and the other Austin Powers movies that crack me up, no matter how many times I watch them. The most memorable? When Dr Evil pushes the button at the conference table in his evil lair and sends Number Two into the incinerator. Except Number Two doesn’t die. Dr Evil is trying to get on with his nefarious planning, but all you can hear is Number Two yelling: “Hello? Can anyone hear me? I’m not dead, just very badly burned, if you could just send someone in here to help me…”
At which point Dr Evil calls over one of his evil henchmen and asks him to take care of it. After which we hear: “Oh, thank god someone’s coming to help me. You see, I’m very badly burned, if you could just— (sound of gunfire and then a moment of silence) Ow! You shot me! You shot me right in the arm!”
It does go on for a little bit longer, but you get the picture. Hil-arity.
5) Fat Pizza – The movie based on the TV show. Basically it’s all about these guys who are wogs and proud of it. They totally play it up. If you’re the sensitive type, I’d advise you not to ever watch this movie or the TV show (which came back on Monday night, WOO!) It’s in no way politically correct. Like Southpark, nothing is sacred and they’ve broken every politically correct moral you can think of. In the movie, Pauly’s on a pizza run when he bumps into Ronald McDoggal (a rip off of Ronald McDonald, quite obviously). After which they get into a fight. Pauly says: “Your McBurgers are McShit, mate.” To which McDoggal says “I’m going to McF*** you up.” And the insults go on with Mc put in front of everything. Ridiculous, but effective.
4) Happy Gilmore – Everyone knows this movie. The first time I saw it, my stomach ached for three days after from laughing so much. When the champion golfer, (who’s name I can’t remember right now), realizes that Happy’s going to actually be a threat to him winning the title, he gives Happy a warning:
“I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.”
Happy – “You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”
“Just stay out of my way, listen to what I say.”
Happy – “Or maybe I could go make something out of clay, or go sit on a bale of hay? I just may…”
3) Buffy – 5.18 – Intervention – Buffy’s off on a quest to speak to the first slayer, meanwhile Spike’s made himself a Buffy-bot. Xander and Anya see Spike in the Cemetary with the Buffy-bot and they’re… ahem. Well, you can imagine what Spike wanted the Buffy-bot for. When Buffy comes back and they realize what’s happened, her indignation is clear. “You guys couldn’t tell me apart from a robot?”
2) Dude, Where’s My Car? – Ok, I’m probably cheating by having two scenes from the same movie, but this one had to be on it’s own. Chester and Jesse go through a Chinese drive through for some food. Each time Jesse orders a dish, the little Chinese woman asks through the speaker “And then?” Eventually when he doesn’t want anymore, Jesse says: “And then, you can bring it out to the car ‘coz that’s all we want.” To which the speaker says once again “And then?” This goes on for several minutes until Jesse says “And then, if you say ‘and then’ one more time, I’m going to rip out this speaker and shove it up your ass (or something to that effect).” For a moment there’s silence, and Chester says “Dude, you totally showed her.” Until the speaker starts in with “And then and then and then and then and then…”
Also, in this movie, funniest quote from anything ever.
Chester - “Dude, it’s a barn.”
Jesse – “Is it red?”
Chester – “No.”
Jesse – “Then it’s not a barn…”
Seriously, just go see the whole thing!
1) The Mummy – After the steamboat our heroes are on sink, they end up on the opposite side of the river to the other party who’re trying to reach Humanuptra (sp?) before them. They’ve got nothing except O’Connell’s rucksack of arsenal. Benny, who’s leading the other party, yells across the river – “Hey O’Connell! Looks like I got all the hor-ses!”
To which O’Connell yells back in a mocking voice – “Hey Benny! Looks like you’re on the wrong side of the ri-ver!”
The execution of that little scene was perfect, and even though I’ve seen the movie a million time and know it’s coming, it still totally cracks me up!