Monday, March 19, 2007

Directions Please

Scene - visiting my parent's house with Molly, sitting outside in the BBQ area while Dad is cooking dinner.
Molly brings her ball back for the thousandth time, panting like she's going to fall over and expire any minute now.

Dad - "Doesn't she ever just stop and sit down? The other dogs are looking at her like she's crazy."

Me - "No, she won't stop, she'll just keep going and going and going until you hide the tennis ball from her. Then she'll sit in front of you and stare at you non stop until you give it back again."

Dad - "Why doesn't she just go get a drink and sit down for a while?"

Me - "Molly... Molly... MOLLY! That's enough. No. More. Go have a drink. Go on. Go get A DRINK."

Molly dutifully drops her ball and dejectedly walks over to the bucket where she not only has a drink, but tries to have a swim as well.

Dad - "Hahahahahaha! Are you serious? She has to be told to go have a drink? Stupid thing, I can't believe you have to tell her to go have a drink. What would she do if you didn't tell her?"

Me - "She's not stupid, she's really smart. What other dog will eat or drink on command? Anyway, if she got thirsty enough, she'd go have a drink by herself, she's not that dumb."

Dad - "Uh-huh. Still... you had to tell her to go have a drink. That doesn't seem very smart to me."

Me - "You're just jealous coz you couldn't teach your dogs to drink on command. Molly understands everything I tell her."

Dad, not replying, but giving me a look that says I spoil Molly waaay too much and treat her more like a kid than a dog.

Me - "I'm going inside, and I don't treat her like a kid."

Dad - "Uh-huh."

As I close the sliding door, Molly picks up her slimy ball and drops it in front of Dad.

Dad - "No, I'm not playing anymore. No. Go have another drink or something. No more ball."

Molly, totally ignoring dad and staring him down, willing him to pick the ball up and throw it.

Dad - "No! No more. Jessica!"

Me, not responding.

Dad, picks up the ball resignedly. - "Fine, but only once more..."

Thus proving, that Molly is probably smarter than all of us.

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Incident Report IBC-726A-39

FORMAL INCIDENT REPORT SECTION ONE Incident Date:___ 25 th August 2436 __ Incident Time:___ 22 :30 hours approx ___ Incident...